Admiral Potsworth Parts 1 & 2

No! I don’t believe it! I won’t believe it! Admiral Potsworth tried unsuccessfully to rip a page out from a book when the tape it was held in with gave way. A ruby red laser beam pierced the now free-falling sheet of paper as a ring of fire lit the paper and burned it from the inside out. I refuse to buy into anything that stupid. Only a moron would put a pinch of arsenic in a soufflé soul of catfish. A moron, yes, or an assassin. That’s what you are aren’t you? You’re not a last minute replacement chef from City Alpha 5… The general’s eyebrow raised as his deep brown eye scouted the ‘chefs’ face looking for a reason to blow a hole for a new mouth in his forehead. You’re a moron. Admit it. Go on, don’t be bashful, admit it. You’re a moron. Now say it. – Look, it’s not that hard. Just open your mouth and say ‘I’m a moron’ like that. Now you try. I… Alright, alright, you found me out. I’m a moron. Now can I finish cooking your meal with out any further interruptions- please? Yes, yes of course, by all means continue. As the admiral turned to leave the room the chef turned, grabbed a knife on the table and twisted back around, stabbing the knife deep into the back of Admiral Potsworth before he realized what was happening. Now who’s the moron?

PART 2 Of Admiral Potsworth

You’re the moron I told you. Can’t you get anything right? The Admiral was not the least bit shook by the knifing but seemed to take it all in stride, apparently used to being stabbed from years of front-line combat experience. The startled chef, taken offence by the rude comment made by his foe, retracted the knife and began slashing away at this heroic war veteran. No, no I’m not the moron. Don’t you see that by my killing you, I would have succeeded at my mission, proving that I am not a moron by defeating you, a high ranking admiral? As the cuts got deeper, limbs of Admiral Potsworth began to fall to the ground followed by growing pools of green ooze. Yes, you’re still the moron. Don’t YOU see? I’m an alien robot only pretending to be Admiral Potsworth. The real admiral is watching this on a TV screen miles from here in the safety of command post. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Is that so? Well then I may have lost the battle but I have not lost the war! As we speak a bomb placed by one of my associates is about to go off, killing your ‘safe’ admiral. Still think I am a moron do you? Only if your associates name was James Cockran? Maybe. He was captured just under an hour ago when he tried to pass as a security officer’s mother to get into our maximum security post station. Darn, that was my idea. He’s going to hate me. He’s not going to hate you because he lost at RO-SHAM-BO, he’s going to hate you because it was a stupid idea. I know, I know, it was stupid- you don’t have to rub it in. Because you’re a MORON! Wait! I’m not, and I can prove it. Within a second, a bright flash of light took the chef away as he was instantly teleported in front of the real Admiral Potsworth. With the skill of 20 years of being a professional ‘chef’, he threw the knife right between the eyes of the admiral. Now who’s the moron? You are. Called out a voice from nowhere as the body of the admiral faded into oblivion. You take these holographic training missions too personally private Goodman. You’ll never make a good assassin. You can’t even distinguish between reality and a simulator. And you can’t cook. Face it, you’re just a moron.